Sunday, 19 August 2012

Is it worth the fight?

Hey Everyone! My mood is pretty much in a mess right now as my teacher called my parents yesterday informing them about my declining performance in school. To that, I have nothing to say but I got to admit that my results have been dropping and that I have not been fully concentrating. I have no issues about the nagging I'm getting from them, but what frustrates me is that at the very moment I decided to work hard and study this had to happen. I know you guys will blame me as it was kinda my fault but I honestly was so determined to use this 3 days of holiday to study and get all my work done. Now all I'm left with is a broken heart. 

My parents had a talk with me last night about almost everything in the world, especially about my relationship & after that talk I was completely in a state of lost. I realized that in order to prevent my parents from going to him, I had to work extra hard. I know very well that I don't want him to get involve in this situation I'm in but can I do it? At this point, I have decided to work my ass off make sure everything I fear don't come true and I know I can do it. Maybe, this was all planned. Maybe this was a way to make me wake up. I have no idea but if this was how things were meant to be, so be it. While lying on my bed last night, I couldn't feel the comfort I wanted to feel. The softness of the covers were just so uneasy, nothing was feeling right. I ended up falling asleep as usual but this time my heart was definitely not a happy one. 

Waking up this morning didn't feel any better as well. In fact more things came to my mind. I felt that I really had to settle down and plan my future, I knew I couldn't go on like this. However, I also knew I wouldn't be able to do it alone. I needed motivation and someone to work together with but looking at my situation now, I don't know if there is such a person. I really want to be the best I can be and to bring out the best of people I care about but the question is, do they feel the same? I really wondered if there was someone out there who was willing to fight and soar to greater heights with me. Sigh, saying all this now wouldn't change a thing but I know I won't give up. I won't give up on fulfilling my dreams, I won't give up on myself and most importantly, I won't give up on us. 

Everyone wants to built a future with the one they love but how many people out there are actually willing to hang on till the very end of time? My dream in 10 years time would be to look back and smile at the many challenges we had overcame together because we both knew it was worth the fight.


  1. Don't make plans, in fact - don't dream at all. Dreams will hurt you when you realise that it didn't turn out the way you wanted things to turn out. Being able to look back at your life and feeling all mushy inside is good though :)

    I don't know you but if I were your boyfriend then I would want to talk to your parents because it sure sounds like they're worried about you big time. It also sounds like you have problems in school because you're having perhaps too good of a time with your BF, but, then again, is it OK for him to allow that to happen?

    You know him. Is he the guy to be there for you, even if it means giving you time & support to do schoolwork?

    Very interesting read :)Don't mean to be rude by the way.

    - R

    1. Hey thanks for you comment but I personally think it is alright to dream. Why let the fear of failure prevent you from achieving your goals right?

      Well, as for talking to my parents, I think I can handle them on my own for now.
      I will prove to them that I am mature enough to juggle my studies and my relationship by studying hard and doing well for my upcoming EOY! Hmms, as for the problems in school, I like to call it challenges! Challenges that would make a me stronger and better person! (:

      Lastly, to your question, my answer is yes. I know that he wants me to do well and he will give me the time to do my work. He constantly tells me to work hard and he is a motivation to me! Oh yes, don't worry R, I won't take it to heart ^^

      Thanks for reading my blog though!