Friday, 7 September 2012

Heartaches

Oh how fragile is our heart. Don't you all agree? 

Well I got to say I'm very vulnerable when it comes to my feelings. Many times, I can be the strongest girl you know that never freaks out over exams or school stress. However, when it comes to my relationships, I'm a sucker. How many times do we find ourselves feeling insecure and worried over someone or something ? Many times right? Yes, I guess it's a normal thing to care for someone you love but many times, the fear, the worry and insecurity overwhelms me. 

Feeling insecure to me is not because of the "trust" issues. When I feel insecure, I feel afraid.
 I feel afraid of what tomorrow will bring. 
I feel afraid of how the problem will turn out.
 I feel afraid of losing everything.
 And most importantly, I feel afraid of that someone giving up on me. 

There were too many people that walked in and out of my life as and when they liked but personally, whenever a person walks out of my life, a part of me dies. I'm not saying this to be all emo and what not but when a friend that I value a lot leave, my heart aches. It aches so bad that I can literally feel the pain. Anyway back to the point, there are many parts in my life that I wish I could do over. I really wish I could change what I did do, or do what I didn't. Well, I'm sure we all feel the same don't we? But at the same time we all know that is not possible. 

At this point in time, if you guys have not realised, I'm feeling pretty sad right now. I'm sad because I couldn't be that perfect girl everyone wanted me to be. You know, I really wish I could be better. Different from all the other girls. I honestly try so hard to be the best I can be. I push my limits and potential and I strive for many things but somehow, I still end up doing small little things that hurt the people I love. Why? Someone tell me. Sigh. Anyway, before I finish up this post, I would like to say that whatever you do, or want to do, I suggest that you think about the people you will be affecting first. I know many have told you this but somehow, I guess it's pretty true. 


" I know where I have gone wrong and I just want to let you know that hurting you was the last thing I would ever want to do. I am really sorry for whatever I did. I know you might feel that I broke your promise but baby, this time I won't. I know at times you might feel insecure but that's alright because I do feel the same way at times too. You know I'll not leave you and that no one will be able to ever replace you in my heart. I really wanted to be that perfect girl. The one you needed but I failed. As of now, I'm sitting on my bed worrying about you. It's just impossible to fall asleep. I really wish you were here with me now. I miss you a lot, I really do. Please be alright and come home soon ~ "


XoXo, Kimberley 

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