Wednesday, 10 April 2013

24. They survive, but I want to live.

They all fighting to survive but have they forgotten the meaning of living?
How is it possible to contain an emotion that is bursting out of you.
 We learned to have dreams as a child but as we grew older, are we getting any closer to that dream?

Did it get crushed?
Crushed by people, adults or friends around you.

Being 17 has changed me a lot.

 Firstly, my life from the start of the year changed completely to begin with. Getting attached on the 1st of January is a rather mind blowing way to start the year I agree. However, looking at it deeper, it really had a great impact in my life.

Secondly, I'm finally one year away from the long awaited "18". I cannot stop imaging how much fun I will finally be able to have with my friends. I'm not a hardcore drinker or anything like that but it would really feel great when I can finally enjoy the perks of being 18 and not having to go home when everyone else is having a great time.

Thirdly, and most importantly, being 17 started to change my thinking....

Being 17 made me look at things differently. It made me realize that there are many ways to go around a situation. I starting observing life and people more often than I would. As time went by, I realized that many of us are just surviving. We constantly try to work hard to keep up with one another. We rush the endless homework given to us by our teachers. We study as hard as we can. 

However, my question is, how many of us actually know what we are studying for. 

Are we all just surviving and aiming for that good O level grade just because we all have to? No, please don't get me wrong. I am not saying that we shouldn't study, I am just saying that do we actually have a bigger purpose to this life we are living. I constantly question myself, who I am? Who I am on this Earth? What significance do I have today that makes this Earth special? 

I don't know when I will be able to answer these questions but there is one thing I know for sure and that is, I want to leave a legacy behind after I die. I want to do that not because I want fame or whatever sort of recognition I will get but I want to live a legacy to change the lives of people, in hope that whoever I interact with will walk away as a better person. I am not sure how many actually understand where I am coming from or maybe this post seem like a rambling session to you. However, whatever you may be thinking right now, I will choose to believe that you can see my good intentions behind me wanting to like a legacy. 

At the same time, my aspirations in life is starting to become clearer now. As a kid, I have always loved dance, music & art. As I grew older, my drawing skills started deteriorating but my interest for photography and interior design surfaced. In addition, my interest and want to be in the "Youtube" community also urged me many times to post videos of myself on my channel.

Having said all that, I now realize that everything I loved since a kid have been drawing me to my dream. I really want to be involve in the arts ranging from, acting, film, dance, singing, fashion, design, drawing & etc... I realized that my interest has developed into something that motivates me. I can see myself waking up to a job that has all these factors in it. I don't want to go into details as of now but I really hope - ZAMPAGE - will turn into something so amazing that would draw me so much close to my dream of leaving a legacy.  

I will be doing a post on Zampage introduction you to what it is all about but till then I'll just say this much! 

Anyway back to what I was saying, I am also starting to feel a sense of excitement in life. I can't wait to see and explore the World. I can't wait go out there and discover things for myself. Though the World today is harsh and competitive, I still believe that there are many things out there is still so pure and precious to us all. Things like joy, love and trust. Call me crazy but at this point in time, I feel that school is a place where I am restricted. I feel that I cannot fully express myself. No, I'm not putting down the system but I really do hope schools can give us more opportunities and develop us even more fully in the aspects that are not studies based. 

I know that there a few out there that feels that they are not the studying material. However, many times, people will start to classify you as a "bad apple" or bad student. They will start to assume that you are good for nothing and cannot achieve anything in life. To me that is all not true. I always choose to see the good side of a person and no matter how bad you are in your studies, there is definitely something you have that is commendable for, it just takes the right person, time & place to discover it. 

They survive, but I want to live. 

I'm coming to the end of my post but in summary, I would like to say that some people in the World today as lacking passion. It is lacking dreamers and people who believe enough in going the distance to work towards what they believe in. As for me, I know where I see myself in the future and I will surely work towards it. I am so tired of surviving, it's time to start living and believing in your heart. Don't weaver because of the comments you heard, always trust that you can be the best and no matter what you do, do it out of your heart. Passion can gets you to places you will never image. To anyone out there that feels like you are being looked down on just because you can't study, I really hope you can believe that you are good for something and that you too can make it big someday. Find that interest in what you like and build on it. Use your love for something and turn it into an inspiration and motivation for yourself. 

Lastly, Reflection by Christina Aguilera and Hero Mariah Carey are two song that really means a lot to me. Go listen to it when you have the time :) I'm sure you'll be inspired. 

XoXo, Kimberley 

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