Friday, 1 August 2014

Dating.


Just the other day on Ask.fm, the generated question of "What is the best dating advice you have" was asked. Upon reading, I was very much inspired to write. As such, though I've already answered a paragraph on Ask.fm a few days back, here's the full version of what I have to say. 


Don't just date someone for the sick of dating them.



Date someone because they make you happy. 


Over the years, I have dated so many kind of guys. Some were rather sweet, while other a complete jerk. Well I guess I don't exactly regret any of those men that came in and walked out of my life nonetheless. I mean, at least they taught me something. Back then, dating to me was simply just going out. Maybe going for a meal, to the movies and then back home. I had no clue it was supposed to be taken seriously. Along the way however, things started to change. I realised how important it was to date someone you were actually serious about.


Having said that, here's something you need to ask yourself..... 

"What is your definition of dating?" 


 Is it something you take lightly? Or is it something that you actually care about? 
I don't know, that's for you to decide. 


People date for many reasons. I know people that date for the fun of it, while others to get over someone they just broke up with. Whatever reason they may have, not everyone out there date people for the intention to find a love that would last. In all honesty, I would never go out with someone that isn't serious. There's really no point in that. However, if you're the kind whereby a one time fling is your thing, then go ahead. Date them all you want. You probably won't be going out again with them anyway. But just promise me one thing, settle down someday. 

The wrong reasons for dating aren't that much of a bastard move either. Sometimes it's inevitable because we're humans. After all, who doesn't want to get over a crappy ex right? What I'm trying to say is then, don't just date to forget someone, or because you want to have fun. Date because you're ready to fall in love again. 


For the people that want to have fun: Date someone when you're really to commit. Don't be serious when you still want to have your fun. I know how fun living a single life can be, and if you ain't ready to give it up, don't. 
Have as much fun you want and make the best out of it. 

Date someone when you're sick of partying. Date someone when being alone isn't that cool any more. Date someone when staying in alone doesn't seem as cool as it used to be. Date someone when you're ready to give you're all. Date someone when you're ready to be vulnerable to risk your heart getting broken. 


For the girls: Don't date someone that ain't proud to show you off, because if you do, you'll probably just be another of his many girls. You just don't know it yet. Instead, date someone who's proud to tell the world how blessed they feel with you. Only then will you feel treasured and wanted.

Don't date someone that prioritise himself over you. He's probably not going to be there when you need him anyway. Instead, date someone that worries for you even when you're obviously old enough to fend for yourself. Date someone that checks in on you every now and then just to make sure you're okay. Only then will you feel loved and cared for. 

Don't date someone that just buys you presents. I've learnt that money can buy you temporary happiness, it cannot buy you comfort and security. Instead date someone that takes time to attach a card to that gift he got you. Only then will you feel his warmth and your worth to him. 


To the lonely ones: Don't date someone just for the sick of having someone to hold. By that I'm talking about meaningless sex. I know a "friends with benefits" relationship may seem appealing to some but, it's honestly the saddest kind relationship I've heard off. No offence to those who are open to this kind of relationship though, after all, we'll all free to make choices. Instead date someone that will hold you close on a cold stormy night.  

Don't date someone just to make your friends jealous. Good things don't come easy. Date someone because you're ready to go through everything together with that person. When you're ready to stand by him/her no matter what. A relationship may always appear sweet and blissful but a strong relationship don't come easy. It takes a lot of effort and dedication, and sometimes, heartbreaks and tears too.

To the ones seeking: Don't date someone because they are attractive when they're all glamorous or dashing. Instead date someone you still find beautiful despite the many flaws they have. Someone you still want to love even though they ain't perfect. 

In conclusion, date someone that you want to wake up next to in the morning. Someone you want to have breakfast in bed in with. Someone that will do the dishes with you. Date someone you can tolerate. People normally only talk about the good. Have you thought about the bad bed habits you'll have to endure? The snoring, the moving around, the drooling sometimes. If you still can look at him the same way, you're probably dating for the right reasons.

And when you do date someone for all the right reasons, they will be able to touch your heart in ways you'll never imagine. They will be able to make you believe in something you thought never existed And most importantly, they will bring to you a kind of happiness you've never experienced. 



xoxo 

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