Wednesday, 1 October 2014

How do we express our love to the person we're in a relationship with?

I'm an sure many of you already have seen, or at least have heard Gary Chapman's famous book - The 5 Love Languages. If you haven't, go look it up. If you have, good for you. This is because in this blog post today, I am going to use the 5 languages stated in the book as a reference to answer this question someone asked me on ask.fm last night. The question was "How do we express our love to the guy we like?". Noticed that I changed the question to "How do we express our love to the person we're in a relationship with?" I did so because what I would do for a guy I like and guy I love may differ slightly. And furthermore, since I'm in a r/s right now, it is only logical for me to see if from where I am. Just to make myself clear, I am not ripping off anything from Gary's book. I am just merely using Gary's book as a guideline to draft my answer. It may not be the most detailed but I wanted to keep it simple so that everyone can read it without any complications. So let's go into the post.



Firstly, (1) Touch. If you got a shock, I'm sorry. I didn't mean sexual touch. The touch Gary and I are talking about here is physical touch. Whenever we're moody or just having a bad day, don't we all need a good warm hug? I'm sure we do. Similar, this is the kind of touch every couple needs to have. So weather you're a guy or girl, you can show touch by hugging & kissing the person you love. When they are upset and angry, hold them close to you. Let them feel your touch and affection. Sometimes, physical closeness speaks more than anything else. After all body language makes up 55% of communication. Therefore showing them physically love will bring them kind of warmth just by knowing that you're near.

Secondly, (2) Gifts. To be fair, not everyone has the ability to constantly flood our lovers with presents.I mean come on, let's face it, not all of us are financially loaded. As such, here's what you guys can do. Every once in awhile, you might consider buying your partner a nice present. Maybe on occasions like Christmas or on their birthday. However who said presents had to be expensive all the time? Sometimes, or for most of the time, these gifts doesn't have to be something big and expensive.

For example, if you know your boyfriend/girlfriend likes a certain type of chocolate like Hershey's, get it for them when you see it. Tell them that you saw it while walking around in the supermarket earlier and it reminded you of them because you know they like it. And "BOOM", that's a gift right there. By doing so, you are (a). making your partner happy. And (b), letting them know that you were thinking about them while you guys were apart. You know, we can all tell our man or girl that we miss them, but occasionally we need to prove it too.

PS: If you need ideas, I will do a post on some small and inexpensive things you can give to the person 
you love :-) Like this post below if you would want me to do a post on that. 


Third up is the thing we all struggle with the most, (3) Time. Giving your time to the person you love is a way of showing your love to them. Why? This is because you are choosing to spend time with them instead of going some place else or spending it with any person instead. Therefore, regardless of how busy you are, take time off and spend quality time with your partner. Sure, you can always choose to send them a text or give them a call. But trust me, nothing beats being with them physically. I'm sure he/she will see how important there are to you when you give them your time despite your busy schedule :-) They should appreciate your "sacrifice" for them even though you were willingly doing it. Sometimes, people tend to overlook small things because they don't see the big picture.

Also, when you are with them, do not think about anything else. If you do, you're defeating the purpose of spending quality time with them. Correct me if I'm wrong but what's the use of going out with them when your whole mind is somewhere else? I know it can be hard due to the stress but for the very least, give them your attention when they are talking to you. If you really need someone to talk to, tell your problems to them. I am certain that they will be more than okay to listen. If you can't give them your full attention due to something that is bothering you, at least tell them what's wrong. Don't keep it all in and act as if everything's okay. I'm sure they would be able to tell that you're not the usual you anyway, so might as well.

The fourth way you can show love will be through your (4) Words of affirmation. Whenever your boyfriend/girlfriend is down or upset about something, encourage them. Be there for them and give them the support he needs. When they're in doubt, assure them. Let them know that their good enough and it's okay for them to make mistakes every once in awhile. Tell him how great of a man or women they are. Fill them with words of encouragement when it due. Nonetheless, don't praise them just for the sake of doing so. If  you really feel that there is something about them that needs improvement, tell them. After which, work together with them towards the improvement :-) Most of the time, what your partner needs is to just know that you're going to be there with them no matter what. That's all they want to know and feel, they want to know that you're going to stay.

Next up is something similar to gifts. We have (5) Acts of service. So your boyfriend/girlfriend had a long day at work and maybe you guys decided to stay in for dinner. Instead of the usual pizza or packet food, get up and cook something for them. Not only does it spice things up, but cooking for the person you love also shows how much you really care for them. It proves how special they are to you. And after a long day, I'm sure it would be more than perfect to come home knowing that you're deeply loved by the one you're in a relationship with. So why not? Do anything you can to make them smile. There are many other examples as well. Packing or tidying up their room, washes the dishes.....etc


Lastly, (6) Respect. This is something I added in. To some, this might not seem very relevant but, to me, this means a lot. Having mutual respect for each other means respecting them for who they are. In other words, do not to be too controlling over them, or change them 360 degrees. Only correct them if it will make them a better person. Eg. Telling them to not stay up later because it's bad for health. Apart from that, let them be themselves, don't change them for who they are.

Also, with respect comes trust. Therefore, you need to trust your partner without doubt. Not unless they proved you otherwise. With that being said,  you shouldn't be worrying about them cheating on you every other day. Even if you see the opposite gender talking to them, you need to chill and trust that your partner will stay true to you. Guys, trust your girls. And girls, you don't have to bitch glare at every girl that talks to your man. Not unless she start flirting with him obviously.

Respect also means, respecting their privacy and giving them their personal space when they need it. I know some of you might be okay with your other half going through you phone. Vice versa. However, in my point of view, it is still right to ask before taking it. Don't just grab their phone and start going through their stuff like it's your right. Show them the basic human respect they need.

And finally, do not be late. Try your very best to be on time. Being on time shows how much you respect that person or the date as a whole. Being late just show how careless you are about the date. Your partner might forgive you once or twice but eventually, your late coming will being a problem if you push it too far. Hence, be on time and don't even get yourself in that situation.


To conclude, these are just my own views. You do not have to full agree with everything I say. 
I hope you enjoyed this post, till next time. 



xoxo


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