"It's so worrying how young teenagers misuse the word love,
as well as, misunderstand the idea behind a relationship."
Just last night, a reader of my ask.fm opened up to me and told me about a problem he was currently facing. At first, I was really worried as he told me this problem was causing him a lot of stress. After I heard what it was, I was worried too. Nonetheless, I wasn't so worried about him. Instead, I was more worried about the younger generation these days.
Because of the confidentially, I can't reveal too much.
However here's a snippet of how the conversation went.
He told me that he was re-considering the relationship because things were starting to get shaky. And my reaction was: "14 days and you're thinking of leaving her already? And to add on, he told me that his previous relationship only lasted for a month. When I heard that, I said to him "Clearly, you're not ready." As much as I have no words, I'm not surprised either. After all, he's just 15. As such, I don't expect him to be very sure of what he's doing. However, another part of me thinks he's very immature for his age. I'm pretty sure
I wasn't like that when I was 15.... But oh well, I shouldn't compare.
Before anyone start judging or accuse me of anything, I just want to say that I'm not in anyway making fun or discriminating them. I am just stating my concern for some teenagers today. After talking to him, it really hit me how some teenagers misunderstand the concept being a relationship. At such a young age of 15, how can one be so sure they can fully comprehend what love is? I mean, how can they be so certain that they're ready to commit to someone? How do you know if they're surely "the one" for you?
After talking to him, I was actually reminded me about my 1st relationship. My 1st relationship only lasted for 1 month and 26 days. (I'm not proud of it) However, I wasn't the one that ended the relationship and I'm confident that I was really serious about it. Well, I guess my ex wasn't ready or mature enough back then either.
Many teens, including myself (back then), get into a relationship thinking that he/she is "the one" we will marry. We feel that we can see a future with that person. And yes, that is a good thing. However, what we don't see is that, we're not even sure of what we want at such a young age. We aren't sure about the things we like, or know what kind of lifestyle we would prefer.
In short, we haven't "found" ourselves yet. Our personality is still changing and we have not even figured out who we truly are. If so, how can someone get into a relationship with another and be so certain they're "the one" when he/she hasn't even understood himself/herself completely? In addition, how can you as a teen be so sure of him/her. You guys haven't even been enough together to determine that he/she is the person for you.
Even at age of 19 now, I'm not 100% certain that I'll be marrying the person I'm with now. Yes, I love him. Yes, I want to marry him. But I also do know that things can change and nothing is certain.
But I guess, this is just all part of growing up. Isn't it? At such a young age, we all think we know what we're doing. And, we all feel that love is something we need just because of how it's portrayed in movies. The kisses, the company and the fact that people in a r/s can be physically intimate. At 15, we wouldn't know the amount of understanding, commitment and dedication a relationship needs. We all think it's "fun" and "cool" to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. We all picture love to be so perfect and we overlook the amount of sacrifices we'll have to make for the other person. Basically, we are selfishly in love.
I don't know how many 15 year old teenagers are reading this right now but, if you are, I really need you to make sure you know what you're doing. I don't want to stereotype and say "All teenagers don't know what love is." After all, you should know yourself. And because you do, you need to know if you're ready for a relationship or not. If you're not, I would advice you to not jump into a relationship.
If you're in a relationship which you're unsure about, take a step back as think why you got into it in the first place. If you don't know how a r/s should be like, consult someone older. But if you know you're sure of him/her, I want to wish you all the best. Last as long as possible but if it doesn't work out, know this isn't the end. The rest of the World is waiting for you.
I have made my fair share of wrong choices when I was a teen. This is is all part of growing up. And it's okay. Just promise yourself that you would learn from you past and grow up. You can't keep getting together with people for the sake of it. A r/s isn't something you should take lightly. You need to be sure you're ready to commit to it.
"Don't be in love with the idea of being in love."